MK Ladies' Food Challenges
by cw2k
Summary: The Ladies of Mortal Kombat, Kitana, Jade, Tanya and Mileena, has come to Earthrealm to compete in food challenges in various fast food joints. This is not exactly a story but it's something different. This was inspired by Youtubers, the Hodgetwins. Can the ladies do what the they do, or make a damn fool of themselves? :)
1. Chapter 1

MK Ladies' Food Challenges

Introduction

What's going on, guys? It's your boy, CW2K with a new series involving 4 MK girls, Kitana, Mileena, Tanya and Jade. They decided to travel to Earthrealm to challenge each other through various fast food joints. Each MK lady will be competing in these challenges randomly, without killing or insulting each other in the process. WARNING: They cuss a lot in this one. If you're offended, stay away because these girls will make the expletives fly!


	2. Episode 1: 10 Mexican Pizzas

MK Ladies' Food Challenges

Episode 1: 10 Mexican Pizzas

Challengers: Tanya and Jade

Place: Taco Bell

Kitana, Mileena, Jade and Tanya were in Edenia, discussing what they should do in Earthrealm.

Kitana: I got it!

MIleena: What is it?

Kitana: I say we do 'food challenges."

Tanya: Da fuck?

Kitana: What?

Tanya: Do we even know what Earthrealmers eat?

Mileena: Which is why we should go to Earthrealm to participate, see what they eat.

Kitana: So what do you think, girls?

Tanya: I'm in.

Mileena: Me too

Jade: Count me in.

The four ladies huddled up.

Kitana: How are we going to do this?

Jade: We need a vehicle, for one.

Mileena: We need to change our outfits too.

Jade: Good thinking.

Tanya: A place to live?

Jade: Definitely.

Tanya: Shall we do this?

They each put their fists together and bowed their heads. They're ready.

They all entered Earthrealm. Their first objective is to get a car. With the money they had, hey were able to get one. Their second objective is clothes shopping. Each of them got the outfits they need for the challenges. Third objective, a place to live. They found a apartment and got their stuff squared away.

Kitana: All right! We spent all day getting what we need. Who wants to start first? These challenges consist of two people chosen randomly.

Jade: I think Tanya and I should go first. We found this restaurant nearby and Tanya suggested we try these "Mexican pizzas" whatever they are. Whoever eats all the pizzas wins.

Tanya: About 6 of them, 3 a piece.

Kitana: Excellent! Go now, and good luck.

***INITIATE CHALLENGE- TANYA VS JADE***

Tanya and Jade went to a restaurant known as Taco Bell for their first challenge. Tanya is driving while Jade is in the passenger seat.

Tanya: So how many you want?

Before Jade replied...

Tanya: (Frustrated) This damn seat belt is cutting the fuck out of me, man!

Jade: Get about 6, 3 each.

Tanya: 3 each?

Jade: We're looking at about 3600 calories.

Tanya: I thought you wanted to make a fuckin' challenge, bitch?

Jade: Well, how many you want?

Tanya: Do 10.

Jade: 10 a piece?!

Tanya: 5 a piece. 10 Mexican pizzas.

Jade: I was thinking 6 a piece.

Tanya: That's 12. I don't wanna eat 12. Fuck it.

Tanya speaks to the manager via menu... thingy.

Tanya: Gimme, uh, 11 Mexican pizzas...

Manager: How many?

Jade: 12

Tanya: 11. I had breakfast before I came here.

Jade: Man, you cheatin' motherfucker!

Tanya: And give me 2 large Diet Pepsis.

Manager: Ok.

Tanya: That'll be all.

Manager: Your total is 46. 94.

Tanya: Thank you. I had breakfast earlier.

Jade: That doesn't count!

Tanya: So I'm supposed to eat a extra Mexican pizza?

Jade: You shouldn't have ate, bitch. That's your fault!

Tanya: I didn't know we was going to do a challenge.

Jade: What do you mean, you didn't know? We've been talking about this shit the whole day!

Tanya: You're getting kinda flaky.

Jade: (Sigh) You gonna eat 5, I'll eat 5. I'll give the other one to Mileena.

Tanya: That shit's gonna be cold.

The girls pull up at the window.

Jade: It's nice and cool out here. I hear it gets really hot like I'm talking mid-90s.

Tanya: Feels nice. Well, I got 11 Mexican pizzas on the way. I had breakfast before we came here.

Jade: It's gonna put us at least 3600 calories in one sitting.

Tanya: Hey, Jade. That's a hot ass outfit.

Jade: Kitana gave me this outfit. She asked me if I'm doing the challenges wearing this, I said 'yeah. I'm doing one with Tanya.' Besides, I look good in this outfit. Damn good!

Ten minutes later, the girls got their drinks.

Tanya: What kind of sauce you want?

Jade: Mild.

Tanya: You got mild and hot sauce?

Employee: Oh shit! Tanya and Jade from Mortal Kombat?

Tanya: That's right!

Employee: I like your DLC appearance. Shit's hot!

Tanya thanks the employee while she takes the Mexican pizzas to Jade's lap.

Jade: Let's park over there.

They parked in a spot with trees. Jade hands the pizzas to Tanya.

Tanya: Let's get a photo in before we eat. Let me break out the iPhone 6.

The employee arrived with 5 more pizzas.

Tanya: I forgot about those.

Now they have all Mexican pizzas.

Tanya: Give me 5. You got 6.

Jade: Oh, I see what you're saying.

Tanya: For the Instagram.

Jade: Hurry up! I wanna eat these bitches.

Tanya: Ok. Get in the shot here. Got it?

Jade is holding the pizzas by both hands.

Jade: Yeah

Tanya: Is that all?

Jade: Hurry the fuck up!

Tanya: Is that all?!

Jade: Yeah.

Picture taken.

Tanya: Ok.

Jade: Did it come out alright?

Tanya: I think so. Like that?

Jade: That's cool. You got a stupid look on your face.

Tanya: What? No I don't.

Jade: You were smiling like a idiot.

Tanya: Let's take it again.

Jade: (Irritated) Fuck me.

Tanya: Pick the pizzas up higher. Pick em up higher!

Jade: FUCK YOU!

Tanya: Pick the fuckin' boxes up, man!

Jade: Tanya, goddamn!

Tanya: Got it?

Jade: Take the goddamn picture!

Tanya: I'm goin' to, bitch. You ready, girl? Stop playing!

Picture taken again.

Tanya: That's clean.

Jade: Ok, Tanya. Take your damn pizzas.

They start eating.

Tanya: Interesting.

Jade: How is it?

Tanya: The way they made these...

Jade: Hey, um... you know what? They gave us all the pizzas and not one damn napkin.

Tanya: No napkins?

Jade: This pizza looks kind of... fucked.

Tanya finishes her first Mexican pizza.

Tanya: One down. Four more to go.

Jade: Can't believe you cheated, girl

Tanya: How am I cheating? I had breakfast before we left.

Jade: If we're gonna do this, we need to it together.

Tanya: You're the one taking binge breaks back home.

Jade: What are you talking about?

Tanya: I finish my shit before you...

Jade: You take binge breaks too!

Tanya: Yea, because of you!

Jade: Well don't take any more binge breaks.

Tanya: I ain't taking no...

Jade: I will take my binge break...

Tanya: I will too, bitch. Let's see who takes a binge break then.

Jade: Oh, I'll take my binge break, girl.

Tanya: Bet your punk ass gonna take a damn binge break.

Tanya: Man, this Mexican pizza is heavy as fuck.

Jade: It's loaded with protein.

Tanya: I will take some precautions on the way home. Pick up some Pepto-Bismol.

Jade: Man, I need some napkins!

Tanya: Use your stripper outfit.

Jade: Hell no. This shit is too clean. I don't like how they make these pizzas.

Tanya: What do you mean?

Jade: The cheese is not melted on top.

Tanya: You always complain, Jade.

Jade: No. There's too much cheese. Get outta my damn ear! It sounds a goddamn horse eating a apple.

Tanya laughs.

Tanya: You always bitchin' and complaining!

Jade: Naw, girl. They be fuckin' up! I oughta go back there and tell them, cuss them motherfuckers out! Trying to do a food challenge and they fuckin' the food up!

Tanya: Two down. I need a binge break.

Jade: Told you not to eat.

Tanya: I got 3 more of these. Usually, these things are light.

Jade: I told you. Look at all them cheese.

Tanya: It's melted, though.

Jade: That's too much cheese.

Tanya: Man, shut the hell up. What the hell does too much cheese look like? These pizzas are heavy as hell. Usually, these pizzas are very light. Now they are loaded up with protein. I bet you my fuckin,' insides will be burning like crazy. I ain't eating the rest of the day.

Jade: Me neither.

Tanya: I don't wanna even look at food.

Tanya: Hey, man.

Jade: What?

Tanya: Has anybody ever told you you got beautiful skin?

Both laugh.

Tanya: While we were clothes shopping, some guy came up to me and said that, thinking he was slick. You know what else he said to me? He asked me, "You know where all the money is at in porn?" I said, "No, tell me what type of porn pays the most?" He said, "Lesbian porn." I said, "Dude, get the fuck outta my face."

Jade: What is porn?

Tanya: No idea. How many you got left?

Jade: That's 3 for me.

Tanya: Why are you taking the cheese off?

Jade: I ain't taking all of it off. They tried to clog my damn stomach with all this cheese. Mexican pizzas ain't supposed to look like that?

Tanya: What's it supposed to look like?

Jade: I can't see the damn pizza with all this cheese.

Tanya: There's supposed to be cheese on it.

Jade: I know, but the cheese is supposed to be sprinkled and toasted, ok? This shit looks like a glob of shit on top.

Both laugh.

Jade: This pizza is also about this big, man. The fuck is going on? This is number 4 for me.

Tanya: Got a lot of beans on it too. I'm gonna throw all this shit up. You're gonna have acid reflux, heartburn, breathing complications, shit leaking outta your ass.

Jade: What are you...?

Tanya: You go to the emergency room, "What happened? What's going on?" "Doc, I ate 6 Mexican pizzas." "What?"

Jade: 6 Mexican pizzas.

Tanya: Why'd you do that, man. Why? WHY, MOTHERFUCKER!

Jade: Food challenge.

Tanya: What do you get out of this challenge?

Jade: The satisfaction of knowing I completed it.

Tanya: Bitch, get the out of here. I hope you die, bitch.

They laugh.

Tanya: Binge break. You finish that one?

Jade: Yeah.

Tanya: That's 3 down. I need a binge break. Got 2 left.

Jade: Binge break.

15 minutes later

Jade: Binge break over. Let's go.

Tanya: I ain't ready yet

Jade: Man, nothing's worse than cold Mexican pizza.

Tanya: True.

Jade: Especially when they load it up with cheese.

Jade: This is my last one.

Tanya: What you mean it's your last one?

Jade: I ate 4.

Tanya: Really?

Jade: This is gonna be the first challenge that I win.

Tanya: Man, wipe all that meat and beans off your face!

Jade: That's what happens when you have a eating challenge. This is my last one.

Tanya: Well, fuck, man. I had breakfast earlier. I had 4 as well. This is my 5th one.

Jade: Girl, come on.

Tanya: I had a chicken quesonato? Uh, quesenserto, fuck it!

Jade: The hell are you talking about?

Tanya: A nice burrito made with chicken.

Jade: That's breakfast?

Tanya: For me, at least.

Jade: They give you all these Mexican pizzas and not one damn napkin.

Tanya: This is number 5 for me.

Jade: I might actually beat you.

The race is on, but in the end, Jade takes the last bite.

Jade: I wins.

Tanya: Hold up, man.

Jade: Over 3000 calories in one sitting.

Jade takes a drink of Diet Pepsi.

Jade: Good thing you said 5 a piece. Think I'm gonna be sick.

Tanya: Done, man.

Jade: I'm not eating the 6th one.

Tanya: Why would you? You'll be sicker than a damn dog.

Jade: So, we ate 5 each, that takes to at least 2800 calories.

Tanya: I think it was more than that.

Jade: Well, one extra cheese.

Tanya: And extra beans.

Jade: You're right. That's over 3000 calories.

Tanya: Let's go ahead and close this one, girl.

Jade: (To the reader) It's gone, man.

Jade and Tanya: It's gone!

JADE WINS


	3. Episode 2: Nashville chicken

MK Ladies' Food Challenges

Episode 2: Nashville Chicken

Challengers: Kitana and Mileena

Place: KFC

Mileena: We at KFC. We at the drive-thru

Kitana: Hot chicken.

Mileena: Get 2 breasts.

Kitana: I'll take a 2-piece.

Employee: Would you like a leg or a thigh?

Kitana: Can I uh... change it to 2 breasts?

Employee: Of course. What kind of sides you want?

Mileena: Give me some of them mashed potatoes.

Kitana: Mashed potatoes. That'll be it.

Employee: Total is 15.98

Kitana: Thank you (talking like Elvis Presley) Thank you very much

Mileena: We got that Nashville hot chicken.

Kitana: Where are the women at?

***INITIATE CHALLENGE: KITANA VS MILEENA***

Mileena: Here are the mashed potatoes. That chicken looked fucked up. The fuck?

Kitana: What?

Mileena: They put pickles on there. What's up with damn pickles?

Kitana: It's a Nashville thing, I guess. Alright. Let's see who can eat this chicken the fastest. Just don't choke, though.

Mileena: I'm ready.

Kitana: And go!

They begin eating.

Kitana: Be careful. We just got this car. Look at you dripping shit all over the place.

Mileena: Sorry.

Kitana: This is actually, "Finger-licking good."

Mileena: That used to be their catchphrase.

Kitana: Was it?

Mileena: Yeah. I think it is. I don't know. They got that redneck advertising. "Don't forget to be thirsty when you're hungry, folks. Colonel Sanders." man, y'all got a fuckin' horrible logo for your damn...

Kitana: It's not bad.

MIleena: It's fuckin' horrible. You know what you oughta do? Change your fuckin' logo to Harriet Tubman.

Kitana: Cuz she sure did look like she could make some good chicken. Was that racist?

Mileena: Oh yeah.

Kitana: Man, it's like I'm eating this one breasts forever.

Mileena: Here's your mashed potatoes.

Kitana: Look at the steam coming out.

Mileena: No fork. I guess you have to suck it off or somethin'. I oughta go in there and wring that motherfucker's neck!

Mileena: Uh-oh. That damn chicken bone. You swallow this, you're going straight to the emergency room.

Kitana: Are you sure they didn't give us any...

Mileena: I've been looking. Hold up. There they are.

Kitana: It tastes like some old lady made it. Not bad at all, just gotta put a little more soul into it.

Mileena: It kind of tastes like some instant shit.

Kitana: It'd be fine if the gravy was better.

Mileena: Potatoes sucked, gravy sucked, I see your point.

Kitana: There's another chicken place called Popeye's. They make the same shit except with better gravy. Think about it.

Mileena: Wrap your head around that shit.

Kitana: That's where they went wrong.

They see an old man walking down the street.

Kitana: Goddamn that guy over there.

Mileena: Who?

Kitana: That guy down the street. Look like John Wayne.

Mileena: (Talking like John Wayne) "Howdy, ma'am. You wanna suck my dick?"

Both laugh out loud.

Kitana: Man, we both got a fucked up sense of humor.

Kitana fails to remember this was a challenge. Mileena wins.

Kitana: How did you eat so quick?

Mileena: Cuz I'm a savage. That's why. Did you forget this was a challenge?

Kitana: FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

Mileena laughs out loud.

Mileena: Eat whatever the FUCK you wanna eat!

MILEENA WINS


	4. Episode 3: Deep Dish Pizza

MK Ladies' Food Challenges

Episode 3: Deep Dish Pizza

Challengers: Kitana and Jade

Place: Little Caesars

The next day, Kitana and Jade plans to give pizza a try. So they went to Little Caesars.

Jade: Little Caesars.

The girls got a Stuffed Crust Deep Dish Pizza.

Jade: So, we got the Deep Dish Pizza we can share.

Kitana: You're a good friend, Jade.

Jade: This is the Stuffed Crust Deep Deep Dish.

Kitana: How deep exactly?

Jade: Don't go there.

Kitana: So the right side is mine, right?

Jade: Yep.

Kitana: I'm beating you today.

Jade: I'm counting on it.

Kitana: Goddamnit.

Jade: You just orgasmed all over your dash. Why don't you have some respect?

Kitana: This pizza's got cheese hanging off of it.

Jade: They got rocket science in there, adding cheese into the crust.

Kitana: Ah!

Jade:You ok?

Kitana: That hot sauce came out of the pizza and burning the hell out of my leg. Fresh as hell.

Jade: Little Caesars, you better watch it. Next time that shit happens, I will fuckin' sue your ass!

Kitana: McDoanld's didn't get away with that coffee. You ain't getting away with that hot ass sauce!

Jade: You better put some respect on it.

Jade: It's hot as hell in here. Must have been that steam from the pizza.

Kitana: I'm just going to eat 2 slices.

Jade: This is filling, man. Tanya and Mileena can take the rest.

Kitana: The box itself can feed the whole family.

Jade: Oh, man. Just made a mess.

Kitana: Jade... don't make a mess.

Jade: Damn good pizza.

Kitana: Eat whatever the FUCK you wanna eat!

DRAW


	5. Episode 4: The Beast Sandwich

MK Ladies' Food Challenges

Episode 4: The Beast Sandwich

Challengers: Tanya and Jade

Place: Jerry's Sub and Pizza

Tanya: The Beast!

Jade: The Beast!

Jade: It's got steak, chilled chicken, hamburger meat and it's got American Provolone cheese, complete with tomatos, grilled onions, lettuce and mayo. It's got all kinds of protein!

Tanya: I'm so ready for this challenge. Ready?

Jade: Let's go.

***INITIATE CHALLENGE- TANYA VS JADE***

Tanya: Oh, man. Why the fuck did I ever go vegan? What the hell was I thinking?

Jade: You got brainwashed, girl. That bald-headed motherfucker in that classroom back home...

Tanya: I'm loving this sandwich!

Jade: You can pick it up at Jerry's Subs and Pizza.

Tanya: This is a challenge just to eat this sandwich. That challenge we did yesterday, that was a challenge by itself. I didn't want to eat that shit.

Jade: The Mexican pizzas?

Tanya: I tried my hardest not to throw up, but I did.

Jade: Should've done 3 each, but you didn't fucking listen!

Tanya: It's not even good.

Tanya: This is what life's all about, girl.

Jade: Causing the suffering and death of animals and eating it.

Tanya: That's not what I meant. This is good times right here.

Jade: I was just joking. You shouldn't joke about things like that.

Tanya: THE BEST SANDWICH EVER!

Jade: I wouldn't say that just yet.

Tanya: They say this is a man's sandwich, but you're looking at two hot Edenian ladies who can handle it.

Jade: At least one of us.

Tanya: What does that supposed to mean?

Jade: You threw up! I didn't! End of discussion!

Tanya: Man, fuck you, you son of a bitch!

Jade: Seriously, this place has several more sandwiches we need to try.

Tanya: That's true.

Jade: I will say this: In search of the best sandwich ever. You see, Tanya, Earthrealm has a huge variety of joints to try.

Tanya: Right.

Jade: Like this place, Jerry's Subs and Pizza, Jersey Mike's, Firehouse Subs...

Tanya: Oh...

Jade: Jimmy John's, um... Subway... Quizno's, and... that's about it.

Tanya: I don't know what this would put me at calorie-wise.

Jade: I'd say... around 800.

Tanya: The best... well, not quite. We've been over this. In search of the best sandwich ever. The Ladies of Mortal Kombat on a quest.

Jade: I like that.

Tanya: You remember back home, us three with Kitana, we were acting like hooligans during dinner. We didn't no manners.

Jade: Gone, man.

Tanya stops eating.

Tanya: Are you fucking serious?

Jade: It's gone.

Tanya: Damn it. Not again.

Jade: Eat whatever the FUCK you wanna eat!

JADE WINS


	6. Episode 5: Ghost Fries & Baconator Frie

MK Ladies' Food Challenges

Episode 5: Ghost Fries vs Baconator Fries

Challengers: Kitana vs Tanya

Place: Wendy's

Kitana and Tanya head to Wendy's for a new challenge.

Tanya: I'm gonna try those Ghost Fries.

Kitana: Ghost Fries?

Employee: Welcome to Wendy's. May I take your order?

Kitana: Hello. Um... I will take a order of Ghost Pepper Fries and a order of Baconator Fries.

Employee: Anything else?

Kitana: That'll be it.

Employee: Total is 7.22.

Tanya: Did he say 2.77 for 2 orders of fries?

Kitana: How much?

Tanya: 2.77. He might have fucked your order up.

Kitana: No, he didn't say 2.77. Why don't pay fucking attention? You know, Tanya, you're starting to piss me off.

Tanya: The fuck did I do?

Kitana: I just wanna strangle the shit outta you!

Tanya: Calm your ass down, girl! The fuck is wrong you? Getting smart with me...

A few minutes later.

Kitana: It's raining out here. You know what I used to do growing up?

Tanya: Aside from being one of Shao Kahn's $5 whores, I'd say you ain't got much of a life to begin with

Kitana: I'm gonna fuckin' murder you!

Tanya: You ain't murderin' shit. Shut the fuck up! What's the matter, has Liu Kang been taking them dick pills again?

Kitana: Anyway, aside from that, for whatever reason, I used to lay in bed and masturbate.

Tanya looked at Kitana with her jaw dropped.

Tanya: Liu Kang fantasies?

Kitana: Shut up.

Tanya: I had a couple of nights like that.

Kitana: Motherfucker, can I finish? Sometimes, I wish I had Liu Kang with me.

Tanya: Liu Kang and Kitana, sitting on a tree, F-U-C-K-I-N-G...

Kitana: Fuck you!

Tanya: Laughing loud.

Kitana: Well, we've got the Ghost Fries and Baconator Fries for our challenge today. Besides, the last two challenges you had with Jade, she beat you both times. We waitin' for you.

They finally got the fries.

***INITIATE CHALLENGE- KITANA VS TANYA***

Tanya: Got my Ghost Fries...

Kitana: Hurry up with my damn Baconators so I can clog up my arteries some more.

Tanya: Them Baconators look fucked up. They just put bacon strips on there. Damn it, they didn't give us no forks...

Kitana: I see them forks, Tanya. Stop talking shit. They in the bag.

Tanya: You think they grow fuckin' legs and walk out on their own, motherfucker?

Kitana: What did you do with them damn forks?

Tanya: There are no forks, stupid! You're seeing things. Fuck it, just eat it with your fingers!

Kitana: Why is it that unhealthy foods taste the best?

Tanya: Hmm. Good question. Life's fucked up sometimes.

Kitana: Stop smacking in my goddamn ear! You got cheese sauce all over your lip, girl. You just started eating the motherfuckers!

Kitana finds something in her fries.

Kitana: What's this? What the fuck is this?!

Tanya: Looks like pubic hair, from a white man. Looks like he creampied your Baconators.

Kitana: You think that's funny?

Tanya: Eat them goddamn fries and shut the hell up! Damn!

Kitana: It breaks apart easily. I done lost my fuckin' appetite. I can't eat this.

Tanya: Try this.

Tanya gives Kitana her Ghost fry

Kitana: I don't fuckin' like 'em, but they're alright.

Tanya: How are the Baconators?

Kitana: It's actually good except it's got dick hair on it!

Tanya: That wasn't dick hair, girl. I was fuckin' with you.

Kitana: What do you think it was?

Tanya: I don't know, man.

Kitana: You just don't give a fuck, do you?

Kitana: Look at your fuckin' face! Tanya, you had cheese sauce hanging from your goddamn mouth.

Tanya: I'll tell you what. These are ok, but I wouldn't buy 'em again, though. They look like they were put together all fucked up and not put together well.

Kitana: Wait a second. You know what that was?

Tanya: What?

Kitana: That was the cheese sauce.

Tanya: They're all right.

Kitana: Tanya, you realize you're getting close to winning this challenge.

Tanya: I know. Done, man. Finally, I win.

Kitana: First Mileena at KFC, and now, you.

Tanya: Step your fuckin' game up.

Kitana: Hey, we should try... um, some large cheese pizzas?

Tanya: Where?

Kitana: Jerry's Subs & Pizza.

Tanya: You challenge me in a pizza eat-off?

Kitana: You're not scared, are you?

Tanya: I accept. Eat whatever the FUCK you wanna eat!

TANYA WINS


	7. Episode 6: The Stupid Sandwich

MK Ladies' Food Challenges

Episode 6: The Stupid Sandwich

Challengers: Jade vs Tanya

Place: Jerry's Subs and Pizza

Jade and Tanya went to Jerry's Subs and Pizza to pick up a unique sandwich called the Stupid. They parked at a nearby parking lot.

Tanya: Check this out. I got some twilight action.

Jade: Oh, that's cool!

Tanya: This sandwich, you can get it at Jerry's. It's called the Stupid.

Jade: Oh, this is fuckin' stupid.

Tanya: It's got potato wedges, bacon, some philly cheesesteak, along with lettuce, tomatoes and mayo. This is kind of stupid.

Jade: That's why they call it the Stupid. it's just a philly cheesesteak with bacon and potato wedges. They said "Fuck it. Put them in the sandwich, save the cardboard."

Tanya: I'm taking the tomatoes off.

Jade: Alright, Tanya. Let's see if you can beat me this time.

Tanya: You're on!

***INiTIATE CHALLENGE-TANYA VS JADE***

Tanya: Oh, man. This is good. How is it?

Jade: Damn it, just made a mess over here! Sorry about that. This is fuckin' stupid. This challenge is going good so far, but it could be better, eating all this bullshit, but it's not bad.

Tanya: I know, right? What was that other sandwich we ate?

Jade: What do you mean?

Tanya: We were here the other day and we had... umm..

Jade: The Beast?

Tanya: That's the one. I like this sandwich better. Don't you?

Jade: Well, this is good, but I like the Beast better.

Tanya: What? You like the Beast better?

Jade: Hell yeah!

Tanya: You don't think this sandwich with bacon...

Jade: I just said this is good too, but it doesn't compare to that sandwich we had the other day.

Tanya: So you seriously think the Beast is better than this?

Jade: Hell yeah, that was the Beast! This is nothing but a stupid sandwich!

Tanya: The Stupid sandwich tastes better!

Jade: The Stupid sandwich don't taste better, the Beast taste better!

Tanya: I think the Stupid's better!

Jade: You're stupid, if you think the Stupid is better. The Beast is better!

Tanya: Naw, girl...

Jade: All that damn hamburger, all that chicken, all that cheesesteak, all that damn mayo... quit being fuckin' stupid and eat the fuckin' stupid sandwich, you stupid fuck!

Tanya: Tell me what you really think of the samnwich.

Jade: I already told you what I think. I think the Stupid comes in second next to the Beast.

Tanya: I vote for the Stupid, because you're stupid, and it tastes better.

Jade: Don't get me wrong, the Stupid sandwich is good, but it don't beat the Beast.

Tanya: They didn't give us no lip wipes. I ended up using the back of my hand. But yea, I do like this.

Jade: I do too. I didn't say I didn't like it.

Tanya: Right now, I think the stupid...

Jade: Naw girl, it's the Beast.

Tanya: Wipe that damn semen off your face, Jade. How many dicks did you suck...?

Jade: Alright, Tanya, damn! Take it easy. Did they ever put a filter in your mouth?

Tanya: No. We don't need no goddamn filers. #nofilter. There's a potato wedge and some bacon that fell off. can i have them?

Jade: No. You may not. I'm gonna fuckin' eat 'em.

Tanya: Gone.

Jade: What?

Tanya: My second victory.

Jade: Well done.

Tanya: Eat Whatever the FUCK you wanna eat.

TANYA WINS


	8. Episode 7: Donut Eating Challenge

MK Ladies' Food Challenges

Episode 7: Donut Eating Challenge

Challengers: All 4

Special Guest: Samus Aran from Metroid

Place: Krispy Kreme

The ladies of Mortal Kombat gather for a special donut eating challenge at Krispy Kreme.

Mileena: Krispy Kreme.

Kitana: That's the donut shop, ladies.

They walk toward Krispy Kreme and finds a young woman in a skintight blue suit.

Jade: Oh my god!

Tanya: Samus Aran?

Samus: You know it. I'm glad you girls could make it.

Kitana: Good to meet you, Samus.

Samus: Let's go on in.

The ladies walk into the store.

Jade: Smells like Heaven in here!

The ladies see some of the most delicious donuts. They then see a young woman whose birthday is today. Lucky for her, the MK ladies and Samus came together singing Happy Birthday to her. Samus Carried three boxes of donuts and joins the girls outside.

Samus: So what do you think? Who's gonna win this thing?

Tanya: I will.

Jade: yeah right.

Mileena has the timer.

Mileena: We each have to eat these donuts in 3 minutes. Whoever eats the most wins.

Samus: Excellent! We ready to do this?

Kitana: Let's do it.

Mileena: And... GO!

All 5 began eating the donuts. This is the battle of the lifetime for the ladies. Two minutes remaining. Tanya ate 3 so far, Kitana only ate two, Mileena ate four and Jade ate four. A minute and a half to go and Samus takes the lead with 7. One minute left. Samus has one left. She was slowing down by devoured the last one.

Time's up. Samus wins.

Samus: YES! Bow down, bitches.

Jade: Damn, girl.

They got together and huddled. Everyone took pictures of the girls and signed autographs.

The MK ladies bid farewell to Samus, but not without closing out this episode...

Samus: Eat Whatever the FUCK...you wanna eat!

SAMUS WINS


	9. Episode 8: Nachos Bellgrande

MK Ladies' Food Challenges

Episode 8: Nacho Bellgrande

Challengers: Kitana vs Jade

Place: Taco Bell

Jade: We're back at Taco Bell. Don't know what we're gonna get. We're not gonna decide until we see the menu.

Kitana: I think I know what I want.

Jade: How you doin? Just one second.

Kitana: Let's try the Nachos Bellgrande.

Jade: Give me 4 Nachos Bellgrandes with 2 large Diet Mountain Dews. That'll be all.

Employee: That'll be 17.76.

Kitana: Did you tell them no sour cream?

Jade: Fuck...

Kitana: You need to tell them.

Jade: Yeah, I don't want none of that bull semen on mine. On those Bellgrandes, no sour cream please.

The girls receive their food.

***INITIATE CHALLENGE-KITANA VS JADE***

Kitana: You should've told them no tomatoes, but fuck it.

Jade: I like the tomatoes. Taco Bell's got some good fake cheese.

Jade sees a vehicle almost hitting another vehicle.

Jade: Did you see that?

Kitana: What?

Jade: That Domino's pizza guy. They say if they don't deliver on time, it's free.

Kitana: Damn, just spilled my Mountain Dew on my new dress.

Kitana sees Jade eating five nachos at once.

Kitana: Slow down, will ya?

Jade: This Nacho Bellgrande good as shit.

Jade: Have some manners, girl.

Kitana: Done with the first one already?

Jade: Yea. Stop picking at it like a little bitch, you eat it faster. You've always been a pussy.

Kitana: Eat with your mouth closed.

Jade: Taco Bell, this is something special. You oughta feel real good about yourselves.

Kitana: Dropped some meat on my dress.

Jade: How you gonna walk around with no respect on your dress. You got cheese sauce all over it.

Jade: I think my two favorite items off the menu is this, Nacho Bellgrande, and the Mexican pizza.

Kitana: Is that your favorite two?

Jade: Yea, my two favorite items off the fuckin' menu!

Kitana: That's your top two?

Jade: I would say so.

Jade: What's your favorite?

Kitana: I don't know.

Jade: Dumbass. Nachos Bellgrande has got to be your first choice, right?

Kitana: Might be. I didn't say I thought about it.

Jade: Think about it. Nachos Bellgrande and Mexican pizza. Don't get no better than that.

Kitana: Well, Nachos Bellgrande is the definite. That's a no-brainer, but I don't know about the Mexican pizza being number two, Jade.

Jade: What do you mean?

Kitana: What I mean is, the pizza being number two, I'll have to hold off on that one.

Jade: Nothing else on that menu comes close to the Mexican pizza. Think about it.

They nod their heads multiple times back-to-back.

Kitana: Clean your form up!

Jade: What else comes close to that?

Jade picks up a spork.

Jade: They gave us a spork and we never used it. I'm using it now since I have all this meat, cheese and no chips, and I don't like to waste no food.

Jade was about to take a bite, but dropped some meat on Kitana's phone.

Kitana: What about the regular taco?

Jade: What?

Kitana: Regular taco.

Jade: Not even close.

Kitana: Anything else you want to try from here in the future?

Jade: Yea. I'm gonna take this nacho cheese sauce that fell on your phone. Sorry about that. Gone.

Kitana: Done?

Jade: Yep. I beat you, Kitana. Why don't you stop being a pussy and eat that shit, girl? I could go back in there and get me two more of those. Easy! Eat whatever the FUCK you wanna eat.

JADE WINS


	10. Episode 9: 2 Large Cheese Pizzas

MK Ladies' Food Challenges

Episode 9: 2 Large Cheese Pizzas

Challengers: Kitana vs Tanya

Place: Jerry's Subs and Pizza

Tanya: There it is. Damn good pizza.

***INITIATE CHALLENGE-KITANA VS TANYA***

Kitana: I'm ready to eat. This is good times.

Tanya and Kitana: Good times (repeatedly)

They begin eating, but Tanya strikes first.

Tanya: Gone!

Kitana: Goddamn!

Tanya: Girl, you got some beautiful skin.

Kitana: Gone!

Mileena: Gone.

Kitana: Hold up.

Tanya: This is good times. When one of us choke, that's bad times.

Kitana: It's 4 p.m. This is my first meal of the day and my only meal of the day.

Tanya: This is true.

Kitana: This will put us at about 2000 calories?

Tanya: Something like that.

Kitana: Do some cardio before I go to sleep.

Tanya: Gone!

Kitana: Gone!

Tanya: I don't know what Jerry's Subs put in their sodas, but their sodas taste much better than...

Kitana: Shut up.

Tanya: They do, man. You taste that damn soda.

Kitana: You can't fuck up soda. It's already made.

Tanya: Gone!

Kitana: Gone!

Tanya: When you go into a restaurant, they water down the soda.

Kitana: Gone!

Tanya: You're gonna fuck around and choke in this bitch.

Tanya: Gone!

Kitana: You're gonna fuck around and choke in this bitch.

Kitana: Gone! How many you got left?

Tanya: 7. You?

Kitana: A lot.

Tanya: Cuz you bullshittin'! I'ma win this. I beat you eating Ghost Fries.

Kitana: My jaw's getting tired.

Kitana burps loud.

Tanya: The fuck?

Kitana: Sorry about that.

Tanya: Gone!

Tanya: Oh, man. I feel i'm losing steam.

Kitana: Hold up. My pizza is bigger than yours, Tanya. All your size is small.

Tanya: No, it ain't. You're just making excuses.

Tanya: Gone!

Kitana: You got sauce on your lip.

Kitana: Almost bit my finger.

Tanya: Gone! Ahh. I bit my lip.

Kitana: Slow and steady wins the race. You know that fairytale where the turtle beat the bunny?

Tanya: You know that's a bunch of bullshit, right? Ain't no way a turtle can beat the bunny.

Tanya: Only got 2 slices left.

Kitana: You ok?

Tanya: Got all kinds of pressure in my chest.

Kitana: What a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

Kitana burps loud again

Tanya: What's wrong with you?

Kitana: I'm making a comeback.

Tanya: You ain't makin' shit. Ain't no way you're gonna catch me. I ot this a bag, baby.

Kitana: These motherfuckers put more crust on my shit.

Tanya: Man... you're making excuses.

Tanya: You can actually see the grease off if it. You think it's gonna clog our arteries?

Kitana: That's a myth.

Tanya: Don't you think that was a pretty reckless thing to say?

Kitana: Some say you can get cancer from smokin'.

Tanya: Done, man.

Kitana: Fuck! Man!

Tanya: Your ass take too long.

Kitana: Well, nice job, Tanya.

Tanya: Eat whatever the FUCK you wanna eat!

TANYA WINS


	11. Episode 10: Grilled Chili Dogs

MK Ladies' Food Challenges

Episode 10: Chili Hot Dogs

Challengers: Jade vs Mileena

Place: Burger King

Jade and Mileena head to Burger King for a new challenge.

Mileena: Where are we heading? Fuck's wrong with you?

Jade: Sorry, Mileena. I was going to have a home-cooked meal, but recently I pissed off Kitana. I told her we were going to do another challenge and she said, "Yeah, go Jade. Eat your damn fast food, I ain't cooking your black ass shit.

Mileena: Wow.

Jade: Yeah, I'll take two of your Grilled Chili Dogs.

Manager: Ok. Anything else?

Jade: That'll be it.

Manager: Total is 4.17.

Jade: That's some good customer service.

***INITIATE CHALLENGE-JADE VS MILEENA***

Mileena: Park over there. I don't want people looking at us while we eat.

Jade: It says 100% beef.

Mileena: Well, it looks like shit. It's not the most attractive looking thing.

Jade: Hot dogs in general don't look fuckin' good. What the fuck are you talking about?

Mileena: You know what a hot dog is made of, right?

Jade: Shut up!

Mileena: Thay take pig ears, pig snouts, pig feet, pig necks, pig dicks, pig tails, they take all that, shit, right? Put some seasoning in it, and grind that shit up!

Jade: You know what this tastes like? A fuckin' hot dog. Not bad.

Mileena: 100% beef.

Jade: I can tell they're grilled though.

Jade: I like to boil my hot dogs.

Mileena: I like mine grilled.

Jade? Really?

Mileena: Grilled, boiled... they're both good.

Jade finishes first.

Mileena: You know what I perfer? A good hot dog.

Jade: You realize I beat you, Mileena.

Mileena: Damn it!

Mileena finishes her hot dog.

Mileena: DAMN good hot dog!

Jade: Eat whatever the FUCK you wanna eat!

JADE WINS


	12. Episode 11: Beefy Crunch Burrito

MK Ladies' Food Challenges

Episode 11: Beefy Crunch Burrito

Challengers: Mileena vs Tanya

Place: Taco Bell

Tanya: I'll take 2 of your Beefy Crunch Burritos, with a medium soda.

Employee: What kind?

Tanya: Diet Pepsi. You got the 2 combos?

Employee: Yes I do. Will that be all?

Tanya: Yes.

Employee: That's 3.49.

***INITIATE CHALLENGE-MILEENA VS TANYA***

Tanya: It feels like I'm repeating myself to him.

Mileena: You might have confused because of your Edenian dialect.

Tanya: I know what the fuck I said! He wasn't paying attention. I don't sound like a goddamn maniac!

Mileena Yes you do. You just don't notice it.

Tanya: Today is a good day.

Tanya gives Mileena the bag.

Tanya: You sure you wanna eat this?

Mileena: Yea. It looks good.

Tanya: We're about to find out in this challenge.

Mileena: Oh that air feels so good.

Tanya: Mm-hmm.

Tanya: It's got... what are those red things?

Mileena: I think thy're called Hot Fritos.

Tanya: Did he give us any straws?

Mileena: No!

Tanya: Fuck that motherfucker!

Mileena: This is good.

Tanya: Not bad at all.

Mileena: Better catch up, Tanya. I'm gonna beat you.

Tanya: So this burrito has Hot Fritos, some meat, rice, and some cheese.

Mileena: Cheese whiz. I see some sour cream action.

Tanya: That's cheese.

Mileena: This shit is delicious.

Tanya: Kind of spicy.

Mileena: I want another one.

Mileena took her final bite.

Mileena: I wins.

Tanya: FUCK ME!

Mileena: That shit was good as hell! I wanna go in there and get me two more. Taco Bell, y'all did something real good with yourselves. Something real good.

Tanya: Eat whatever the FUCK you wanna eat!

MILEENA WINS


End file.
